Genuinity and contrasts

It´s been a while since I last wrote something on the blog and there´s been a reason behind that, and that´s because I´ve been struggling a lot with myself for the last couple of months (well, I always struggle with myself, but this fall it´s been a whole other kind of struggle) and it has felt wrong to write about only happy stuff when in reality I´ve either been in darkness or I´ve been struggling with different challenges in my life. On the other there have so much fun stuff too that I´ve been wanting to write about, but once I´ve written the article it´s been either too late to post it or something else has happened that made that last article not so interesting. That´s the tricky part about blogging, because it really has to be updated a lot which is fun when everything is good and fun, but when ur struggling with urself or u just have low energy it feels wrong to blog about the fun stuff. But on the other hand I´ve missed blogging so much and I´ve been aching for it really bad at times. So from now on I´m gonna write more! I just have to find a way to find a way to make sure it´s genuin, a good balance between the fun stuff and my challenges. Because being genuin is the essential here, at least for me. It´s really important for me that everything I do and write about is and feels genuin to me. So I hope that there are still some people that reads what I write about even tho I´ve been on a break for a while…

Anyway, so the reason for my absence is because I´ve gone back to school! Yes you heard the right thing, I´m nowadays a student… I´m studying to become a pre school teacher at Malmö Högskola (soon to become Malmö University in January 2018, yaaay for that), and it´s …been a roller coaster. I´m so not used to have a schedule and have homework and assignments and papers to do. The hardest thing tho has been more personal stuff, well more like how I´ve felt regarding studying and how to write papers. OMG it´s been so hard, I mean, academic writing? Do they even use that when you work (aside from at school and if you do research papers)? It´s really challenging, at least to me it is. To find ur own voice, to criticize psychology theories, to always have to have a reference to one´s opinions…well the list can go on and on…

But it´s so much fun going to school. I don´t think I´ve realized how much I´ve missed going to school. To have someplace to go, to have classmates, to have lectures to go to, to LEARN about new stuff… I´m enjoying all of this so much. I mean, imagine not having had somewhere to go for a great while that you kind of have forgotten what it´s like to belong somewhere, to have a context, and then all of a sudden you are among all these hundreds of students, and everyone is eager to learn something new, and you walk into these great salons where the lectures are held and you turn around and you see all of these eager faces (ok, some are bored already from the beginning haha) and we all wonder what we are going to learn this time. Sometimes the lecturers are good, and sometimes not so good. But sometimes we are very lucky when we get a lecturer who is sooo funny that we could fall off our chairs laughing because he makes us laugh so hard. When it´s raining outside (we have huge windows from the floor to the ceiling so we can all see what kind of weather it is outside) and that lecturer is making us laugh so hard, then I know I´m in the right spot.

Ok, I could go on and on about what I´ve experienced at school, but then it would make a very long list. Maybe I will write more about it in another post!

But to be honest about it, I´ve felt a lot of darkness and insecurity about many things this semester which is the explanation to my absence, but now that I feel more strength and light I can feel my hands getting drawn to my blog. It is as if it´s itching in my hands (is that a Swedish expression or can you say that in english too??) and I can´t stay away from my blog. There have been (also) so many fun things happening during these last six months that I´ve been longing to write about, so now you can all expect a lot more consistency when it comes to my blogging!

Hope I will be able to continue to entertain some people with my blog and that you are still here=)

Here are some pictures that are from this fall, and they can pretty much sum up the contrasts that I´ve felt this fall hehe. Enjoy. <3 The pictures starting now they show some moments when I´ve felt a lot of gratitude and happiness, like in this picture when I´m in my second week of school and I´m really excited to see what this semester has to bring me (what I didn´t know was all the work that also laid ahead of me….)Or here when I´m sooo excited to be in Dublin for a week end to visit a good friend of mine who recently moved there, and we hadn´t seen each other for a whole month (!! =))))

This one is from the airport of Amsterdam when I had missed my connected flight to Copenhagen (my flight in Dublin was delayed which made me miss my connected flight) and I had been running around the airport to get info about my next flight, and when I had got all the necessary info I went to Starbucks and had a cappuccino that I had loooonged for so much (and I was able to charge my phone that had had a 1% battery). I was like beyond happy when I 1. got my cappuccino and 2. when I saw this smiley face on my take away. So cute!

This one is actually from this summer but there´s so much happiness in this picture and hope for the future that I just had to have it in this blog post=).Feeling grateful to be at the annual book fair in Gothenburg in the end of September. I really liked these outfit, they made me feel very cool at the book fair.
This was the view from the spa at our hotel. I just love swimming pools, and especially with this kind of view. I just wish wish we could have more of this view in Malmö.True happiness to be in 25C heat and to be in the sun in Mallorca (for vacation with my family in Oct). 

To finish off with a good quote that gives me strength.
Well that became a very long blog post, I hope you were patient enough to go through all the pictures =)).

Lots of love,