I remember when I I lived in Paris and it was my first year at school, and we had class at 8 in the morning everyday. I got up around 6 am and took the metro around 7.20-7.25, and ALL I could think of was when we were gonna have our break (usually at 10.30), and I can remember it so well that coffee machine that they had in this small little room next to the street, and everyone stood outside while drinking coffee and/or smoking cigarettes and enjoying those 20 minutes of freedom, as if that break never would come back to our life again. I can remember that coffee machine so well, it´s as if it´s glued to my mind, what it looked like and how everyone stood impatiently in line to get that precious coffee and/or chocolate, and if we didn’t get our coffee everyone (including moi) would get in a bad mood. Another thing I can remember so clearly was that I was absolutely terrified of being late to my class (our teacher, an American lady was veeery strict) and she didn’t let us in even if we were only 3 minutes late (then we had to go back home feeling ashamed of ourselves as dogs who have eaten food that they deep inside know that they shouldn’t eat=)) so I always made sure I came on time (even 10 minutes prior to 8 am), and the second I walked into that room I longed for our break. Not that I didn’t like being in school or our classes, but no matter what class we had or what teacher we had I longed for our 20 minutes of freedom. Those 20 minutes that made us all rush down the stairs to stand in line to buy our coffee. Even tho the coffee came from a machine and the coffee came in in a teeny tiny plastic cup we (ok I) loved that coffee. It didn’t matter that it came in this super small plastic cup, the coffee still tasted like a small piece of heaven. The coffee was really warm (!) and tasted so so good that I didn´t mind waiting in that line for what seemed like forever. We only payed 0.5 € for that small piece of heaven..that´s a pretty good deal I think for being in heaven for about 15 minutes.

The coffee itself would probably not win any grand prizes for being the most delicious coffee ever (it´s French coffee that we´re talking about after all, no offense to all the French people reading this, it´s just that us Swedes, we´re very picky when it comes to our coffee). However the coffee was def good enough for me. With the coffee in my hand I stood there usually facing the sun and just listening (ok, eavesdropping) to what the other people were talking about. I was really shy and self-conscious back then (still am at times tho but not as bad as back then) and I never knew what I should talk about with these people. Maybe it was because they usually said not so nice things about other people (that I had no idea who they were) and I wasn´t (and still am not) into that so I felt I couldn’t really contribute anything to their conversations. They also spoke mostly in French and my French wasn’t that good in order that I could have a good and fluent conversation so that´s also a reason why I didn’t really know what to say and what to talk about. It took me 2 1/2 years to get almost fluent in French (God that language is hard to speak fluently..) and once I did speak fluent French I took the decision to move to Barcelona… (that´s another story tho). But going back to that break, to that sweet moment of freedom in the sun (or freezing our *sses of in a cloudy and cold Paris) when we hold tight to our beloved coffee. The coffee that kept us warm and that even made the French people to warm up (again, no offense to the French people but they are not the easiest people to become friends with). That coffee gave us (ok me) safety and warmth, and I could stand there feeling safe with my cup of coffee in my hands, because with that coffee they wouldn’t mind me standing there not saying anything or not knowing what to talk about. It was as if I made them the queens and kings (mostly gay kings tho since most of the guys studying there were gays) who decided who could talk and not talk. I was not one of them. Altho I was prob not one of any group. I preferred being there by myself not defining myself after any group. It was safer that way, and I could be more free that way too. Not belonging to anyone was a feeling of freedom, but a complicated feeling tho since it gives u loneliness too, but aside from that feeling, I still loved being part of something bigger which was the school. But going back to the coffee, that coffee was like my armor, making me feel safe, and I could stand there pretending not to care that I didn’t know what to say or what to talk about (and yes, I did care). The coffee made me feel cool and I could hide my insecurity behind my cup of coffee.

During our three years at ESMOD those breaks and that coffee (and the cigarettes for many students there) saved us from insanity. There were so many times that we were stressed out about our projects and jurys (we always presented our final projects in front of a jury), and we always had a thousand things to do for school, so those 20 minutes of freedom was our time to slow down and vent things, and thanks to those 20 minutes of freedom we could finalize our projects. So what we would do without our beloved coffee (and yet again the cigarettes for some students ) I have no idea…

 

These pictures are not from France or Paris (my pictures from that time are unfortunately not very pretty or arty..), these ones are from Sweden last year (2016) but I always smile when I look at them cus they are (yet again) moments of happiness, either by myself or with friends. And looking at them makes me realize how good Swedish coffee actually is.. at least the cappuccinos at cafés. I like them a loot. (fuel surprise..=))

 

Me and Bella working from home a sunny September day..

In Lomma harbour…a really nice place where I took like a million pictures.

me and my good friend S having spontaneous coffee/breakfast together in September/October last year. I love spontanous ideas! They give me so much energy.

me and my friend S going on a day trip to beautiful Österlen (the east coast of Skåne) in September last year and we visited a really cute café where they had delicious coffee…such a great day! I love taking day trips. Love discovering new places and beautiful nature.

Malmö on a beautiful and sunny August day..

Me and my friend S (another friend) we went on a day trip to this amazing and really beautiful café/restaurant on the north west coast of Skåne last summer and it was soo pretty (and u can tell by looking at the prices too…oucha…but totally worth it cus the food was delicious really…) and it was so much fun going there with my friend. So much fun going there with her and driving there together trying to find our way to this famous place Flickorna Lundgren på Skäret. I can def recommend this café!

My sweet cup of coffee. Oh how I loved that coffee. So sweet, so innocent and yet so strong. Simple, strong and sweet. Thats how I like it. Both in life and love. And of course that´s how I like my coffee.

Wish you all a beautiful day!

Amour en masse,

Hanne